Wednesday, 25 March 2015

The Pursuit Of Happy-ness


The Pursuit Of Happy-Ness

"Better to do something imperfectly than do nothing flawlessly."

When I first started meditating around 10 years ago, I thought I was naturally going to be great at it. I read the books. I did classes. I made lists and timetables. I did it all, only to be consistent for a few weeks and then suddenly stop. Then the excuses came. I had a million of them. I was too busy. Too tired. Too hot. Too cold. Too late. Too hungry. I had a gazillion reasons not to go. And of course, after a few months, I would begin this whole cycle again.

I started to wonder: why did I start something that I really wanted to do, only to suddenly stop? But the answer was right there in front of me. I had to be the best at meditation. I needed to be awesome at it. I had to get A+ or why bother. I didn't want to start at 'beginners' level with baggy track pants and a faded tee. I wanted to be an expert straight away. I wanted it all to look like a heavily filtered instagram photo: perfect posture, perfect surroundings, perfect beachy hair, perfect serenity. And if I couldn't reach perfection, there was no point to it. If my mind wandered, I was instantly cross with myself. If I didn't see immediate results, I felt like a failure. And if I wasn't making enough progress, I gave up. 

I began to recognise that this was a pattern in a few areas of my life. And I also realised that constantly aiming for perfection was exhausting. And reaching for perfection constantly meant that I never felt good enough. It was draining. And it made me unhappy. 

So I had to change this way of thinking. Instead of feeling disappointed, I had to train myself to see every day as a series of small achievements. I started to celebrate the days when I could meditate. Every session mattered. and every day mattered. It took a long time, but I finally recognised that I would rather do things imperfectly, than do nothing flawlessly. Because as the saying goes, happiness is about the journey, not the destination. And every step towards success is worth celebrating.

Love, Elle xo
© impossibly blonde

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